25 signs you know you live with a toddler

If you’ve spent any time around a toddler, I’m sure you would agree it’s a great age but not without its challenges. There are some days when Aaron and I have to try our hardest not to crack up at the things Max says, and we don’t always succeed. As we do our best to adapt to life with a two year old, it has been fun (and therapeutic) to see the collective craziness in writing.

You know you live with a toddler if….

1. you think 5am is a normal time to start the day.

2. saying “don’t drink bathwater” and “don’t eat the stem” are second nature.

3. you get a huge reaction and applause every time you make up a new song that you actually entertain the idea you might be good.

4. it’s not unusual to find raisins or cheerios in your pockets.

5. you give up on your second errand if it involves making a stop at another location.

6. seeing tiny little fingers under the door when you are in the bathroom isn’t weird anymore.

7. some days you wake up humming a tune and realize later it is the theme song to Thomas.

8. your threshold for what a vegetable is is extremely low and somedays a green veggie straw meets that threshold.

9. you haven’t heard of most of this year’s Oscar nominations for best picture.

10. somedays you are thankful you aren’t the favorite parent.

11. your floors get washed every time it’s a bath night.

12. you ignore the shopping cart warning not to put your child in the main cart because not putting him there will result in a tandrum you aren’t prepared to deal with.

13. you automatically sit on the floor anytime you are hanging with friends or family.

14. you know the names of all the Thomas trains and you roll your eyes when people get Thomas and Edward confused (obviously Edward has a tender car and Thomas is a tank engine!).

15. all the lower levels of your bookcases and pantry shelves are empty.

16. you recognize the sound of any garbage/recycling/mail/UPS/ice-cream truck coming down your street and immediately rush to the window to watch.

17. you recognize Legos as tiny death traps.

18. you suspect noise-canceling headphones were invented by a parent.

19. you’ve seen your living room go from clean to a total wreck in under 60 seconds.

20. nowadays most of the pictures you snap of your child with your phone are a blurry mess.

21. you’re sorry you ever judged parents who put their toddlers on leashes, you get it now.

22. you have at least 1 bus/truck/train in your purse.

23. your little one has started asking you questions that you don’t know the answer to. Last week Max asked me “what’s wind” and I was at a loss at how to explain it to him. Luckily at 2, replying with “it’s just wind” was an acceptable answer to him.

24. you jump at any opportunity to run a last minute errand because even a few minutes alone to pick up toothpaste can feel like a relaxing vacation.

25. some days your child cries because he wants help to pick up his truck but he definitely does not want you to touch it.

    

What are your favorite “life with a toddler” moments? Please add to this list.